Your face is a jimmy john
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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