Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
