i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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