i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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