when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
