yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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