i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
