I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize