god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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