I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
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Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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