Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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