We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
