Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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