I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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