I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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