i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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