I'm jealous of your bromance
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
