I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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