Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
