At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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