I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize