The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
