hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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