This is not my ceiling
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
