My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
