On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?