Sry I called you an 8
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My butt remains clenched, sir.