Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize