You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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