Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
