Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
