3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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