she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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