i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
