i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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