I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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