Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
