why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
