we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
