Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
