I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
