guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
