Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
