im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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