i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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