break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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