You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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