You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
