Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
