Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
