used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
