I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
it hurts more in the daytime
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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