Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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