I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Randomize
