If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
