You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
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My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Drunk is not a location!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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