the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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