aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
