I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
