id be glad to
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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