is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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