First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
