You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
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she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
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Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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